Become Your Fursona

Feathertail is in the process of moving into a new apartment. He’s grateful to all those who helped him move here, as money is tight at the moment. He also refers to himself in the third person sometimes. Here’s an update on his situation for now:

I’m currently living in my new apartment, which doesn’t have Internet put in until the 16th. x_X But there’s free wi-fi in the nearby park’s air conditioned community center, which is awesome. It’s also got paddleboat rentals, and a bunch of walking trails and events and things, and is just plain all-around win.

I’m not there right now, though … I’m currently at the public library, which I made it to by walking to the other side of the park and then taking a series of buses. The bus system isn’t free, but it’s only $1 per trip, including transfers. So that’s not too bad. I’ll just have to make sure that I’ve got a bunch of dollar bills on hand when I want to use it. The buses are wheelchair-accessible and have lots of empty space in the back, which will let me store my portable shopping cart for when I need to buy groceries. (I probably won’t try to take it through the park’s trails, though, unless I’m feeling really confident.)

So how is the place? Well, my apartment is quiet and spacious and clean, and out in the middle of the woods next to a pond. It’s really close to the park, and the town’s businesses are all accessible by bus, including a Whole Foods Market and a Kroger (which has a “natural foods” section). Also there’s a branch of the Great Harvest Bread Company, where you can get a free slice of bread just by walking in, and the girl behind the counter offered me a free cup of water too when she saw how tired I was. >.>b

So it looks like things are going pretty well … now I just need to hurry up and get some work done while I’m here! I’ll try to keep in touch, and I’ll hopefully post a larger-than-usual story update next Saturday.

… the feelings I’m used to are gone. Instead of the chill, liquid rush through my cooling lines, I feel a faint thump, thump in my neck. And instead of the whoosh of air over my circuits, the pump of mechanical breath, I feel … nothing.

I stand there confused, turning around trying to see myself and failing. My tail swishes, not with nervousness but annoyance. It feels floppy and loose, as though it’s not secured tight but is hanging limply on my skeleton. Everything feels floppy and loose, and I wrap my arms around myself, as if trying to keep my squishy flesh from sloughing right off of my bones.

It hurts, and I wince and let go as I realize I’ve pinched myself.

You might remember Claris, the robot fox, if you’ve read Crystal Core. Something very interesting has just happened to her. Can you guess what? Find out in The Worth of Souls!

The banner is once again provided by Krizzo, who is awesome. Also, thank you to everyone who’s provided support in one way or another. I’m sorry about the late update, and I’ll be moving out (finally) this week.

Still on track to post the first part of Unreal’s story this Saturday, and continue working on commissions. First, though, an excerpt from my personal blog, since it deals with some recent happenings.

I got into an argument with my family last night and beat the crap out of myself. It only took less than a couple of weeks before we moved out of the “honeymoon” stage and I started self-injuring again. I seriously thought about killing myself, and I couldn’t even use complete sentences when I started talking to Yurodivy afterwards. So today, while the house is quiet and I’m alone in here, I’m reading the writings of abuse survivors and reminding myself I’m not crazy.

I move into my new apartment on the 2nd or 3rd of June. I knew I was taking a risk by staying here until then, but I thought that now that I was more confident, I wouldn’t back down and hate myself like I used to. I thought that my brothers seemed sane enough that I could talk and laugh with them like I used to. I didn’t want to stay here, I wanted to just move into my new place and be done with it, but it wasn’t ready yet. And I thought I wouldn’t be here long enough that anything bad would happen.

I don’t want to have to spend the next week in a motel, because it would gouge another chunk out of my savings. But then, I did ask for donations a little while back, and I got enough money to cover it. So I guess I should ask you all what you think.

“How long have you been on Earth?”

“Two weeks.” Tyris looks past his facemask without turning her head, knowing her visor is glossy enough that he can’t see her.

“How long have I been on Earth?”

“Three years.” He’d told her that morning.

He tells her about the savage, filthy Earth humans. The survivor camps that they live in. The crude machines that they drive, that they struggle to keep maintained, and the wars that they fight for the last drops of oil. And the way they mix animals’ souls with their own, turning themselves into animals. Turning themselves into beasts of burden.

Tyris listens, and reminds herself of how stupid she is. And how very out of her league she is on this planet.

Welcome to Earth … the most dangerous world in the galaxy. Especially after It happened. Can you keep from becoming an animal while you’re here?

I wasn’t going to write an original story while I was working on commissions. But I’d already volunteered to write Fox Hunt for someone, and when he decided he didn’t want it anymore I kind of left you all hanging when I lost my momentum. Here’s as much as you’re going to get for awhile, at any rate, unless I decide to work on it alongside Creator-Unreal’s commission!

I already have most of his story written, so expect the first part this weekend. Apologies once again, for the delay.

No, that’s not the name of a story. It’s what I’ve been in, the past few weeks. >.>;

Fox Hunt has stalled because the person who asked for it said that he didn’t want it. I’m 3.4k into a story for Creator-Unreal, a sequel to Crystal Core, and Krizzo already has a pic ready for it. But I’ve been waiting to start posting it until I wrap up Fox Hunt, and like I said, it’s stalled.

I haven’t written any stories at all for the past couple of weeks, because I’ve been packing and trying to get moved. I spent the past few days apartment hunting in North Carolina. It looks like I’ve found a place, but I’ll have to wait a couple of weeks to move in. In the meantime, I’m staying with my family, who have been surprisingly helpful and supportive so far. I’m hoping things stay that way.

Just thought I’d let you all know what’s going on.

Slowly, Ryan reached for his backpack, sideyeing his reflection to guide his shaking hand. The zipper seemed loud — too loud — and the fox cocked its head at him as he reached in and got out his imprinter. It was heavy and awkward, machined steel with sharp edges, and he cut myself trying to fix the soulcrystal inside.

The fox had taken a few steps towards him. “Please don’t have rabies,” he thought, as he stood and aimed the imprinter with both hands. Through the lens on its back he could see the fox anima, thick and swirling and crimson like blood, and as he held down the lever on the side it started to flow towards his gem. Not enough to kill the poor thing … just enough to make him what he longed to live as. Or at least, to bring him as close as it was possible to get.

Ryan’s heart raced. He couldn’t think straight, and could barely hold the imprinter still. Seconds stretched on to infinity, but he only needed a few more of them before …

Chasing your dreams is hard work … especially when they run on four legs. Especially after the apocalypse. And especially when people are shooting at you.

Read part 1 of Fox Hunt now! This story takes place in the same world as Spirit Hunter and The World Needs Dragons, and furs who have read either story will have a clearer idea of what’s going on. Krizzo did the banner again this week, so tell him how awesome he is.

I was at Furry Weekend Atlanta last week. Click here for con report and fursuit pics! I wasn’t able to stay overnight, but it was fun just being there on a daytrip and visiting with my mate.

I’d like to thank you all again for the support you gave me when I needed it. At the time, I was making almost no money, and was scared to death that I’d have to move in with my abusive family again.

Since then, things have changed. I’ve gotten a steady stream of assignments from Yahoo! News, plus additional writing assignments for sites like Yahoo! Shopping. I don’t have a job with them — there’s no regular salary, or union representation, or health insurance, which is critical for someone who lives in a country that won’t pay for health care. But I’m doing much better as a freelancer now, and I may have a chance at living on my own.

If any of you want your money back, you can have it with no questions asked. I understand the UN World Food Program needs help to feed people in crisis areas, like Libya and Japan. But the support I received, both financial and emotional, helped keep me going … and showed me I need to keep writing these stories, even though I’m busier than ever now.

Commissions are going to be slow, but I’m going to try to have an update every Saturday (or Sunday at the latest). Commissioners may request a refund at any time. Thank you for your patience and your support, and I hope you enjoy both Fox Hunt and Creator-Unreal’s upcoming story.

To Donna Pickett, co-chair of the CDC’s ICD-9-CM Coordination and Maintenance Committee:

When I was growing up as an autistic person, I frequently had to escape from school and church activities by wandering in the hallways or foyers. If I didn’t, I would have experienced sensory overload and/or meltdown, which would have destroyed any chance that I had of learning or participating in the activity.

The times that I stayed, I regretted it.

Labeling people with a “wandering” diagnosis pathologizes natural, necessary behavior, and gives authority figures who don’t understand how they feel license to destroy them. Students will be restrained, physically if necessary — and if your goal here is to somehow bring autistic people out of our “shells,” you’re defeating your own purpose, because this is going to drive kids to shut themselves inside their heads out of self-preservation.

It was unethical for the CDC to use poor research practices (including biased polling) to establish their “claims,” it was unethical for them to submit this issue for public comment after the deadline for registering to give public comment was closed, and it is immoral that this diagnosis is even being proposed. It will not just abuse children, but it will restrict the freedoms of American adults with disabilities as well. Please reject the proposed “medical” label.

To find out what’s going on, and sign the petition to stop it, visit Change.org. You can also email Pickett at dfp4@cdc.gov. Please keep in mind that she is not necessarily hostile to disability rights, so much as misinformed about what is going on, and would not appreciate angry emails.

I don’t usually post “advocacy” type stuff on Become Your Fursona, but a large part of my work has been aimed at helping people who’ve gone through what I did recover. Most autism “treatments” are abusive and hurtful, and in my case would have made things worse. I only began to heal from the abuse once I was able to escape, and that’s exactly what people who want to destroy us are now trying to prevent.

You’ve all been very kind in helping me to escape. Please take a moment to help thousands of other people as well. Sign the petition at Change.org now.

I didn’t realize how hard flying would be.

It wasn’t the flapping that was hard. It was the soaring. Hawks … we make it look so effortless when we’re in the sky, gliding and circling overhead. But there’s so much to learn, so much to practice. How to angle your wings just right into the wind; how to recognize updrafts and take advantage of them. How not to get battered downward in storms, and how to recover from a fall before you panic or hit the ground.

I had a lot of learning to do, still. And I didn’t have the upper-body strength that I would’ve if I’d spent my whole life doing this, nor was I as small or as light as most hawks were. I figured that something had to have changed about me, to let me fly at all … maybe I’d gained some muscle or hollow bones, or maybe it was the same magic that kept people from seeing me for what I was. But whatever it was, it hadn’t made flying effortless. And after a minute or so, I was gasping with exertion.

I was still in “fight or flight” mode, and since there wasn’t anything for me to fight I had to keep flying …

Invisible Wings concludes in part 4!

I’m taking this week off from commissions so I can prepare for Furry Weekend Atlanta. I’ll be attending on Saturday with my mate Yurodivy, so if anyone wants to say hi just look for her and her pet. Before I go, however, there’s this neat little contest thing I’ve got for you.

Nowadays all the cool kids use Twitter, it seems. And so does Become Your Fursona, now … check us out @fursonaupdates! We’re also on LiveJournal, at (predictably enough) fursonaupdates.

That’s not the contest, though!

See, I figure you’re already likely to subscribe to us there, if you use those. ~.^ I’d rather you subscribe on Identi.ca by joining the !becomeyourfursona group, or on Dreamwidth by joining the becomeyourfursona community! They’re pretty awesome places IMO, and I’d love to have you join us there.

Next Sunday after FWA, I’ll pick one fur out of all our Dreamwidth and Identi.ca members to reward with a shoutout or cameo. You can either have your fursona appear in an upcoming story, or you can have me make a shoutout to anything else that you like. It’s up to you (provided it doesn’t completely freak me out)! And yes, you can join both and get double the chance of winning.

I’ll see you then!

I took my coat off, still keeping one hand to the gauze pad on my chin, because it was way too warm for me now. Then I checked the sleeves, feeling them up and down for the slits Jen had mentioned might be there … the ones that would’ve had to be there, if I had just flown. But there was nothing, not even a loose feather.

I sat back down slowly, shaking. Knowing my mind was playing tricks on me, but not sure which part was the trick.

Isn’t this what you wanted? The thought came unbidden. You asked for a cure, so she gave you one.

You said you weren’t ready. So here you are.

Invisible Wings continues in part 3! This part includes a guest star, one of the furs who donated during the earlier drive.

Also, Krizzo’s been doing more banners, including this one for Prized Possession! I still have some work to do in order to get the stories to be formatted right on BYF, but it’s been uploaded on FA, both as a thumbnail icon and a banner on each downloadable story file.

Do let him know you appreciate his work. ^.^ And read part 3 of Invisible Wings!

Jen said nothing as I stood there, holding my arms out, facing into the air with my eyes closed. I remembered what it looked like. I didn’t need to be able to see … it would just make this harder.

I imagined — I felt — the feathers on each wing, and the claws on my hands and feet. I felt them grip the wooden platform, and squeeze into my scaly palms. I could feel the wind rustle my headfeathers, and play over my beak. And my tailfeathers twitched, as I prepared to jump.

For an instant, I “knew” it would not work. But I set that aside. I chose to. I wasn’t jumping off of a cliff, or a second-story railing. I was only five feet off the ground. If this didn’t work I’d be embarrassed, not injured. So I could afford to keep my eyes closed, spread my wings out …

And fly.

It’s time for the next part of Invisible Wings, a story for Arrow Quivershaft! And this week we have something special: A banner graphic created by Krizzo, a reader from FurAffinity. He’s offered to do more pics for upcoming stories, so if you like his work let him know!

This week’s chapter is a little shorter than usual, as I’ve been adjusting to my new beat at Yahoo News. I’m writing an article for them every day, sometimes with extra assignments. I haven’t forgotten about Become Your Fursona, though, or the furs who’ve commissioned me. Arrow’s story will continue next Saturday as normal.

Read chapter 2 of Invisible Wings now!